Things I love

I’m so sad. Grief is hard work, ya know?

Time for a list. Reboot my 💜

  • California poppies
  • Yellow m&ms with peanuts
  • Depends Silhouettes (just keepin’ it real)
  • Clean sheets after a warm 🛁
  • 🐈laying in puddles of 🌞
  • My 🐕. They have such a great attitude, no matter what. #overcomeevilwithgood
  • Taco salad 🥗 from Wendy’s©
  • Queen Anne’s Lace and pink sweet peas
  • Birthdays 🎁🎂🎉
  • Vegetables – colorful, munchable variety
  • Crocheted afghans
  • My small group at Elevation
  • Rays of 🌞 streaming in my window
  • Chocolate 🍫in moderation
  • Learning new skills (current fave listening)
  • My Youversion Devotional- super encouraged
  • Holy Spirit- always there
  • Jesus – endlessly awesome 😎
  • Father God – so kind and full of integrity and wisdom
  • Unstoppable spring
  • Myths and stories
  • Ireland and Artemis Fowl
  • Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, stages of grief #incrediblyhelpful
  • Toe socks with fun patterns

Thank You 💕 God. Hug received 🤗

Blameless

Torturous gut-wrenching self-catered and perpetuating self-hatred.

Been thinking 🤔 about this with Jesus.

Working on it with my therapist.

You know what the rub is?

The thing

I have flashbacks about and

that keeps me up at night?

The Cure

How I must have hurt the innocents in my path

during the worst of

my addictions or
mental health issues or

_____ you fill it in.( ‘bet you can without even batting an eye.)


What is acceptable collateral damage?

Who has to accept it?

How do I accept it?

Jesus.

You were the ultimate collateral damage.

Father forgive them for they know not what they do right? (Luke23)

Give me Your wisdom on this.

Amends aren’t only for victims. They are for perpetrators too.

Speak gentle words of comfort into my tired, guilty heart.

You are my only hope.

Big Bad Mamma Jamma

Trauma vs. Faith thinking.

I am scared tonight.

It is 3 am and my stomach is knotted with fear.

Something wicked happened

deep in the bosom of my family.

and

I’m not sure how to get over it.

(Jesus, will I ever get over it?)

Freaked out:. 😨 Aaaaaaahhhh!

I am so grateful tonight…

1. that Jesus prayed for us

to be protected

from the evil one.

2. That He forever lives

to intercede for ME

with the FATHER.

3. That heroes before me

who have fought

the enemy of our souls

and won

are cheering me on

Hebrews 11

🌻🌷🌻

Thank You God.

I feel weak

tonight.

Deep breath.

Heart rate returning to normal.

Eyelids getting heavy.

Contented sigh: Aaaaaaaaahh… 🌻🌷🌻

Boot camp for my brain

I opened my Youversion app to read the Bible today.
So sad and beleaguered, you guys! Rough, loooong night with health stuff.

I tend to get suicidal when my MS is acting up, so I go to the Bible extra hardcore at those times. Even before I start to think in the morning. Knee jerk I’m training 💪 my brain to automatically do.

Armor up, right?

Oh my sparkly socks.

what I found, my peeps!

God’s been doing great things this year! I just read about some of the ways God’s been at work in the YouVersion Community, and I think you’ll love this. Let’s celebrate together! https://blog.youversion.com/?p

Youversion link this morning

Sooooo encouraging!


I hate fakey sacharin sweet Christian-ese.
It makes things feel worse.
So……. I almost didn’t click on it.

But I’m so glad I did after all!
I did not realize what The Holy Spirit was up to during this pandemic!

#truth

“People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in their true beauty is revealed only if there is light from within.”

Elisabeth Kubler-Ross


6th step for parents who have abused

Need a little help?

I’ve been thinking. About the sixth step. This is hard for parents who’ve abused or neglected their children.

There’s stuff back there that I do not want to own. You know? (It’s probably hard for everyone, but I don’t have to repent for everyone–just me.)

Step Six
“Were entirely ready to have God remove all
these defects of character.”


“THIS is the Step that separates the men from the boys.”

So declares a well-loved clergyman who happens to be one
of A.A.’s greatest friends.

He goes on to explain that any
person capable of enough willingness and honesty to try re-
peatedly Step Six on all his faults—without any reservations
whatever—has indeed come a long way spiritually, and is
therefore entitled to be called a man who is sincerely trying
to grow in the image and likeness of his own Creator.

–BIG BOOK OF AA author anonymous

Just sayin’.