Some kids that I care about are making bad choices right now.
I know Jesus will not blow sunshine about this.
He will tell me the truth.
Not everything that my kids do as adults is about me
But some of it is.
I did make some really bad mistakes
Especially when the twins (child #4 and #5,) were little and I was in the worst of my addiction and disassociation and losing time.
Especially when my kids got older and we got in adult-type arguments.
I remember new stuff all the time. Now that I am flat on my back in bed. I try not to obsess over it.
I own it. I’m sorry.
I’m learning new skills.
That’s all I can do.
God can do more.
Those bad choices stole from us.
He’s got a multi generational plan going here.
I trust Him at His word.
“Some people say it is morbid to be always thinking of one’s faults
“That would be all very well if most of us could stop thinking of them
“without soon beginning to think about those of other people.
“For, unfortunately, we enjoy thinking about other people’s faults.
“And in the proper sense of the word morbid,
“That is the most morbid pleasure in the world.
“We don’t like rationing which imposed upon us;
“But I suggest one form of rationing which we ought to impose on ourselves:
“Abstain from all thinking about other people’s faults, unless your duties as a teacher or a parent make it necessary to think about them
“Whenever the thoughts come unnecessarily into one’s mind, why not simply shove them away and think of one’s own faults instead?”
CS Lewis, The Search for God
Trauma vs. Faith thinking.
I am scared tonight.
It is 3 am and my stomach is knotted with fear.
Something wicked happened
deep in the bosom of my family.
I’m not sure how to get over it.
(Jesus, will I ever get over it?)
Freaked out:. 😨 Aaaaaaahhhh!
I am so grateful tonight…
1. that Jesus prayed for us
to be protected
from the evil one.
2. That He forever lives
to intercede for ME
with the FATHER.
3. That heroes before me
who have fought
the enemy of our souls
are cheering me on
Thank You God.
I feel weak
Heart rate returning to normal.
Eyelids getting heavy.
Contented sigh: Aaaaaaaaahh… 🌻🌷🌻