The Spirit of the Lord Is on me,
because the Lord has anointed me
to preach good news to the poor–
He has sent me to bind up the broken hearted
to Proclaim freedom for the captives
and release from Darkness for the prisoners
That’s from Isaiah 61– the passage that Jesus read in the synagogue at the beginning of his ministry.
Bible scholars have said that the passage in Isaiah is talking about Jesus’ job description and bucket list.
Also could it be talking about OUR job description and bucket list?
It sounds like our function in the world as part of the body of Christ.
Does that make sense?
I want to use those verses now to talk about something that hurts.
MOMMY GUILT. (This can apply to dads too if the shoe fits.)
I know that this will resonate with someone. I canNOT be the only one to struggle with parent-guilt… most painful thing I have ever felt
Babies or not able to have babies: Great early modeling or had a mom who struggled and abused me.
such joy and also so much heartache.
A truly double edged sword
there is nothing in the world that I’ve ever wanted more with all of my heart then to be a good mom,
and there’s nothing that I have failed more spectacularly at. ever.
Because I SOOO wanted to be a good mom (Or dad).
but I just was not enough “different” from my own painful childhood.
I blew it so many times you guys! Were talking leaveyourkidsatthebusstopbecauseyoudisassociated or senthemtotimeoutanddisassociateandleavethemtheretwohours bad.
royally blew it a lotta times. Man, that STILL hurts.
I am learning that some sins are so big and so horrible that there is nothing to do with them but declare bankruptcy.
Like Jesus said in Matthew 18. In the story he tells, the first debt was so big that the only way to deal with it was t do Write it off.
a debt that big could never be repaid, Not in a whole lifetime of Perfect behavior.
That is how my mom guilt feels.
there is no way to go back and change anything.
there is no way to make things right and be the mom or dad I wish I could have been;
it is too big a debt.
the only way to DEAL with a debt that big:
Let it go to God and plead the blood of Jesus over it.
We have lots of practice forgiving the people who have hurt us as children, right?
We know how to do this if we want peace. After all, forgiveness is for us, right?
I am desperate to take a dose of my own medicine (God help us all) and learn to forgive myself.
FatherGod, I pray that we will be able to
- let ourselves off the hook
- give ourselves a gift we don’t deserve
- honor the blood of Jesus
considering that the cross is ENOUGH to pay for our sins against ourselves and our children.
Even if it is just being cranky because we were sleep deprived, and we Have to go to the grocery store anyway.
or if it’s huge like leaving them at the bus stop because we disassociated and forgot we even had Kids.
Let’s give ourselves a break.
I think most of us know that self-flagellation and guilt over the past is not helping anybody or making us better moms (and dads), or even decently fun people–but we haven’t been able to stop.
let’s make the choice to drop it; Drop the charges against ourselves. ( of course we have already made things right with God by asking his forgiveness and done our best to make amends– but we still are haunted by guilt.)
A lot of us have forgiven terrible, terrible sins against us by well meaning but messed up people who let us down when we were little.
We know how to forgive that kind of stuff and Let It Go and be at peace.
God has already showed us how to do this. Well…?
- let’s give OUR SELVES a break
- Honor the sacrifice of Jesus
- trust the word and Holy Spirit
- let his sacrifice be ENOUGH Let Jesus’ blood be enough.
- give ourselves a gift we do not deserve
- free up all that energy we’re spending on self-flagellation
Let’s use it
- to grow beautiful things
- to live harmonious
- to bring health
- to enjoy our lives and do some good in our world
In our present Gardens of Life.