Happy to be stuck with you

Do you ever wonder what Abigail and Nabal were really like? #Good story (I Samuel 25) I always thought she was a spineless, codependent wuss.
Abi Wuss
But I think I might have misjudged her. Maybe she just believed in Nabal and loved him and he was her best friend and they had been through stuff together–births, miscarriages, deaths in the family, starting a business, Christmases and birthdays, mac’n’cheese and filet mignon—you know, stuff. Maybe she just wouldn’t give up on him.                #wannabethat Maybe she just believed in her Nabe. And if Nabe failed her, then fine: in God. Maybe she just wanted to keep her wedding promises. Maybe she just wanted to trust in God about Nabal and wanted to do right by Him. I don’t know. But... I can trust God with my marriage 😍 My man loves his family. He has bucco good qualities. My man wants to be a good husband and father. More than anything. He tries really hard; I know some of what he’s had to overcome. And maybe I’m not always a peach either. (Just sayin’.) #stickwithhim.

Help me Lighten up, Lord

Jesus bless and help each person
who stops by for just a pair of minutes.

We love 💕 Your words.

We love You.

But help us. It’s hard down here sometimes.

But You knew that.
You came down here.

I remember now. 😉

I’m asking for a hug today, Lord.

I mean that respectfully.

Especially during this pandemic, we need You.

We’re somewhat desperate.

Help us lighten up and not take ourselves so seriously.

We need a good Dad telling us that it will all work out.

Soul food

Remember that commercial for mountain dew?

Where the guy Is hot and tired

 And takes a drink of mountain dew 

and then, in his mind, falls into a huge lake of refreshing, cold water?

I remembered that commercial from the 80s when I was Thinking about this verse with Jesus.

I feel a sense of nostalgic longing, or burning in my soul.

Don’t you?

Like on the road to Emaus (luke 24) when the disciples asked each other– after Jesus appears, explains the scriptures to them, and then disappears –“we should’ve known it was Jesus because didn’t our hearts burn within us?”

I also remembered the verse in the song of songs that says refresh me with Apples and raisins for I am sick with love (song of songs 2)

also, the Bible talks about David and his warriors finding a survivor of the Canaanite raiders (Ziklag), who rode off with their stuff and their wives and children while they were gone. They find an Egyptian slave who was left for dead. He hasn’t eaten For days, and been sick with a fever, and the Bible says they gave him water and a cake of figs and he was refreshed and revived in his soul and could talk to them about which way the bad guys went. (1 Sam 30:11)

Thank you Father for your word that is meat and drink to my soul .



Lord God  our Father,
No one gets to live on this earth

without getting touched

by injustice or betrayal. 

No one.

You know about injustice and betrayal–for certain.

Two specific things come to mind that I am heartsore over: three betrayals within my own extended family system and/or neighborhood.

I’m sorry for hanging on to these bitter thoughts for so many years, God.  You have forgiven me of tons of yucky stuff–I release _____ now, with You helping me.

  Help me to go forward as a free woman, Jesus. 

It is for freedom that Christ has set you free. Stand fast in it, and do not submit again to that yoke of bondage.

Don’t let me get distracted, Father.  I want to walk in freedom.

I want to take Your yoke and learn from You. 

I am exhausted and stressed out:

give me rest for my soul, God.

Beautiful Abstinence

It’s challenging to find balance when my addiction is a behavior that continues to be a necessary part of my life, don’t you find? It’s like with an eating addiction, you’re not ever going to stop eating. But you can find new ways to think and talk about eating.

Sexual addiction has been my row to hoe. Sexuality, as a married woman, needs to be a healthy part of my life. But am i still able to walk in purity in my mind, you know?

Regarding my addiction du jour: coming up on ten years of abstinence. It feels pretty good. It does get easier, but an occasional rematch is still called for.

I am not beyond falling off the wagon. Ever. I walk careful. I mean right?

I find that so much of addiction involves MY THINKING. I depend on the Holy Spirit to help me. Some of my triggers are very subtle in the beginning, which is when I want to catch any imbalance.


I have to STAY in the Bible every morning. That’s part of my recovery. If I spend my energy putting GOOD IN, then I don’t have to worry as much about keeping bad stuff OUT.

I don’t read romance novels. Or even go down that aisle in the grocery store. Just maintenance for me. Not for every Christian woman, necessarily.

I watch my language. No, I don’t mean what you would think by that. I mean how I am talking.

Speak life

If I talk about my sexual-ness as a way to bless my marriage, keep holy secrets, and show my loyalty to God instead of a way to prove something to the 🌎 or be selfish or destroy myself, then my thinking tends to fall in line with that.

I love my life. I love my freedom. I respect myself. I am learning to be kind to myself.

Keep to the old paths

🌷🌻Black history month: a hoax or a hallelujah? 🌻🌷

Someone I care about (a sometimes-cynical world-weary genX-er) and I were arguing about black history month.

He thinks it’s a waste of space.

An advertising gimmick designed to sell ad minutes.

I disagree on principal, and here’s the reason why.

He says with me that the actual black people we have known have been sensible and decent and fair-minded.

Okay. So far we agree.

But then he insists that “they” just have it all wrong about black history.

And “they” are filling the airwaves.

with skewed propaganda about said thing.

(Who the giblets is “they“? Just sayin.)

I offer the thought that if decent folk want to celebrate something they love, I say go for it. I’ll join in lustily… the more the merrier! I’m loyal to my stuff too.

I tried to point out that SOMEone(s) who has(ve) an interest in promoting chaos and hatred is manipulating the press coverage of this racial issue in America starting with George Floyd.

Or shoot–let’s go all the way back to Noah and his sons over the drunken\curse thing in Genesis 9!

But I don’t think CBS or NBC or Fox News or CNN have the issue confused. They are just trying to make a buck and get along in the 🌎

They’re just people

doing their best.





the real


I think it’s much higher up.

Ephesians 6

We don’t fight against flesh and blood.

🌻🌷🌻🌷🌻🌷🌻🌷🌻Just sayin’🌻🌷🌻🌷🌻🌷🌻🌷🌻

(Image at YouVersion.com)

Flip side 🌻🌷🌻


I finally found it!  Another thing that getting sick for years has given me.  At long last:

the gift of silence

  • Golden, beautiful
  • Perfectly beneficial
  • Exactly timed


When I was a young woman, I was reckless and unstoppable with my words. Bull in a china shop.

It served me well.

“Well, it’s TRUE”

 was my mantra and the only measuring stick I used for my words.

Growing up in a home with child abuse in it:

  • that I had to live with 
  • that no one would believe me about
  • that no efforts of mine would ever seem to change

caused me to NEVER WANT to be silenced again.

Even when I should be quiet.

I made a vow: When I get out of here, no one is ever going to shut me up again.

 It turned me into a monster: I couldn’t be silenced. 

  •  Even when I wanted to.  
  • Even when it was in my best interests to remain silent.
  • Even when I talked to myself before a social function and said now Jennifer, I want you to be quiet this time.

nope. nada.  not a possibility babe.
 I couldn’t do it.

Open mouth. Blat my brains out.  

Then came the inevitable

  • Tense silences
  • Frozen smiles
  • Hurt feelings


It feels good to be able to hold my peace now. It’s a pleasure I’m learning to love.


...mostly im just too gibley tired to shoot my mouth off. #veryhelpful

My fearless truth-telling has served me well in the past.

 I honor it.

 But I’ve outgrown it.


🎁 gift

“Now God has us where He wants us, 

with all the time in this world and the next to shower grace and kindness upon us 

in Christ Jesus. 

Saving is all His idea, and all His work. 

All we do is trust Him enough to let Him do it. It’s God’s gift from start to finish! 

We don’t play the major role. If we did, we’d probably go around bragging that we’d done the whole thing!

 No, we neither make nor save ourselves. 

God does both the making and saving,” (Ephesians 2:7-9, The Message).

  • Thankful 🌷


When God, who is the best shepherd of all, comes out in the open with his rule, he’ll see that you’ve done it right and commend you lavishly. And you who are younger must follow your leaders. But all of you, leaders and followers alike, are to be down to earth with each other, for— God has had it with the proud, But takes delight in just plain people. So be content with who you are, and don’t put on airs. God’s strong hand is on you; he’ll promote you at the right time. Live carefree before God; he is most careful with you.
1 Peter 5:4‭-‬7 MSG


When you fall down 

Stay down.

–Tauren Wells.  you version devo.