Flash back recovery

I went to sleep worried about my closely related offender, and feeling guilty for unfriending him.  His life is so pathetic and sad!  You know?
It’s complicated when you grew up with your offender.

I’ve always felt super responsible for this person.  I know how bad it was for us growing up:  I was there.

Some of you will know exactly what I am talking about.

Ambivalence.  That’s what the text books call it.

That’s what it’s like

 when someone you love


someone you also need to be afraid of.

Most of my nightmare was about me trying to convince my family of a rather unusual thing:

that this guy is capable of killing me and my kids and they need to not tell him where I live.

And them

not being able to

believe me.


I want to blog this So that other people who love and also fear their family members, and people whose family choose not to believe them about crimes that have been committed…can know they are not alone. 🌷

It’s crazy-making, isn’t it?

I know how you feel friend.

Grief is great.

Let us be good to one another.

–the magicians nephew by cs lewis

Things to love

Flowers. Who would ever notice if God 🙏 had made them all grey?
  • My dog’s chin whiskers. Comic note. Take a look sometime.
  • Bread 🍞
  • Cats vs. dogs. Endless comic material. I love it.
  • Fields of lavender in the 🌞
  • The beach
  • Audio books + any type of household chore. Automatically 75% easier
  • Family meals
  • Scottish, Irish or New York accents
  • Welcoming soldiers home from active service
  • Early Beatles music
  • Red umbrellas
  • Calico
  • Homeade cinnamon rolls

Turned a corner with my grief over our prodigal. First time in months!I woke up and went about my day. I forgot about it for HOURS. I think grief might be like an onion. There are LAYERS there. So I’m not expecting to feel this relief and rest from strife forEVER. But someday I will be over it and it will be just part of my life.I can see myself living free.You know what I mean?

I want to remember this day.

Our marriage(s)

God, our marriage is hitting a rough patch.

I think we’re not the only ones. This pandemic thing is kickin’ our collective butts! (And for me maybe some midlife stuff too.)

I want to pray some stuff for us.

Fish 🐟 or cut bait.

Papa I claim this verse for my marriage. Our marriages. Psalm 🙏 20:1

And these verses too.

I’m counting on You Jesus. Fix our marriages. We need You.

Help us see one thing we can do to respect our hubbys or love our wives TODAY.

Crown us with life.

Show us the way of escape that You have made ready for us.

Give us perspective.

Give us heavenly aid. Details of angels.

Lead us not into temptation. Deliver us from evil.

Yours is the glory and power forever.



I had the day from H*E*double hockey sticks! Ugh.

Emergency thankfulness list:

  • Audio books while baking or gardening
  • Honeysuckle, in all conceivable forms
  • Blended mochas with whip
  • Clean sheets with matching pillowcases
  • Flannel anything
  • Emma Thompson movies
  • Unselfconscious and kind-hearted innocence
  • Writing on chalkboards
  • Kitchen aprons with pockets
  • Bobby pins–so many uses!
  • Mascara–instant massive improvement
  • Hindsight–always 20\20
  • Teakettles singing
  • Ladybugs
  • Riding the escalator at the mall
  • Rosy cheeks and wind-whipped scarves
  • Baby mammals–any kind
  • Baking cookies–also any kind
  • Cloud watching
  • Laying on the beach after a swim